The effect of the bull in a china shop.

(Yes, the title may be confusing but bear with me here.)😐

Good day, gorgeous couch potatoes and welcome to another new month in this dumpster fire we call the year 2020. But fret not, even if the world is literally coming to an end, you can count on me, your couch potato fairy, to grace you with some words of wisdom to make your day a bit better.

Now, off we go:

I am what you will call a bonafide klutz. And I don’t mean in the ‘oh everyone’s a bit clumsy’ kind of way, I mean that when the saying “bull in a china shop” was invented, they were probably talking about me. Yes, I am the poster child for that phrase.πŸ˜ƒ

Growing up, I was always afflicted with the plague of the dreaded ‘butterfingers’. And this disease afflicted me in the most dire of situations and especially loved doing so when fragile objects were involved. As a result, I became used to being called all sorts of names by everyone on account of my clumsy nature.

Now, in my adult age, I won’t say I’m as clumsy as I was as a child but I am clumsier than most adults would care for. As a result of said clumsiness, I developed a certain complex.

The idea that I am perfectly incompetent at everything.

At first, I thought nothing of it. I didn’t even know I was doing it. But whenever I was given a task to do, no matter how simple, I always had this notion that somehow I was going to screw it up because of how clumsy I am. I would always end up downplaying my capabilities to the point where I’d sell myself as a stupid person to anybody because I believed I was a stupid person incapable of handling anything. And usually, because of that mentality, I ended up screwing up like I thought I would (because of course I did!) further cementing my uselessness in my eyes. On the off chance that I did well in said task, I was always legitimately surprised to the point of suspicion that I was able to make it that far.

In addition to making me a nervous wreck, this way of thinking also prevented me from trying anything new because of the fear of using my clumsy powers to screw everything up. In allowing my fear to fester, I’d kept myself in a bubble of stagnancy and apprehension instead of being a normal person and taking extra care in doing certain things.

It took a lot of people pointing it out for me to notice it and to actually start doing something about it. So, your couch potato fairy has taken it upon herself to reconsider being a bull in a china shop and to actually start being a fairy in a china shop. Careful, graceful, sure of herself.

CONCLUSION

Obviously, this mindset came about mostly due to the criticism received as a child which followed into full adulthood but at the same time, I let myself be a sponge, soaking it up and letting it stay inside me for this long.

However, with all that is going on, I feel like we as human beings have a lot to fight in the world without having to turn around and end up fighting with ourselves too and we should make an effort to ensure that our mental health is at its best(especially now😭😭😭).

Thank you for reading. Please tell me in the comment section: What quality of yours do you feel holds you back? And what are the clumsiest moments you’ve had?

Until next time, your semi-graceful potato fairy. πŸ§šβ€β™€οΈ

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